


Fated Meeting

by Momus



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, M/M, Public Sex, Stripper AU, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momus/pseuds/Momus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki gets dragged to the strip club for his 21st birthday and he ends up having a terrible time, as expected, until a cute, blonde dancer appears on stage in a tight bunny uniform.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Meeting

Kaneki eyed the liquid in his glass absentmindedly. It had only been an hour since he arrived at the dimly lit bar, yet it felt like time was dragging on at a torturous pace. His friends had chosen to sit him right in the middle of perv-row, so naturally every oiled-up, buffed out dancer that walked the stage paid the most attention to him.

Three drinks in, courtesy of his ever-generous friends, he could feel the effects of the alcohol wearing him down. He polished off his fourth drink just as the DJ announced the next dancer. Careful not to slam the glass down on the sticky counter, he turned to his closest friend and attempted to speak over the loud thrum of the music,

_”Hey, I think I’m gonna go,”_

_“What? You aren’t even drunk! C’mon, it’s your birthday!”_

Kaneki opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly the lights dimmed until the stage was blacked out and a slow hum filled the musty air as the music started up. He sighed and turned his attention to the stage; maybe he can hold out for another hour.

The lighting gradually increased to reveal the next dancer posing against the silver pole in the middle of the stage — a young man of average height with shaggy dark blonde hair. He wasn’t oiled up like the other dancers and although he was slender, he still had toned arms and the shadowing of abdominal muscles. To top him off, he was wearing a black and pink rabbit outfit, complete with ears and a cotton tail stuck to his tight bottoms.

Kaneki watched as the young man rolled his hips in time with the music, timing his steps perfectly to match the beat. As the tempo picked up, so did his movements; he knew the song inside and out, and as such his body moved in such a way it was almost enchanting. Slowly, he stripped off his suit piece-by-piece, save for the bunny ears, and Kaneki’s eyes dragged down his naked body, taking in every detail.

_“Ehhh? Looks like someone’s crushing on the dancer,”_

_”N-no! He’s just, very attractive is all!”_ Kaneki blushed fiercely and sipped at his drink, his friends laughing at his obvious lie.

When he turned to watch the dancer once more, he was now crawling on all fours and was heading straight for Kaneki. Had it been anyone else, Kaneki would have averted his eyes and sipped at his drink, but not with him. Their eyes locked on to each other and Kaenki could feel himself being pulled in by the other. The dancer mouthed the suggestive lyrics to the song, honing his brown eyes on Kaneki, as if he were devouring him.

Before he knew it, the song was nearing its end and the blonde dancer moved back to center stage to strike his final pose. The audience clapped and cheered, money was thrown on stage, and the dancer left promptly after blowing the crowd a farewell kiss. The crowd lulled to a chatter while the latest music played and a middle-aged man came onto stage to collect the cash and clean the pole for the next dancer.

Kaneki played the scene over and over his head, completely taken in by how handsome the dancer was. He thought about how he felt under his hands, what it would be like to kiss him, to touch him, to…

_”Kaneki! Check it out, we bought you a lapdance!”_

_“Eh, what?”_ Kaneki blinked twice and when he saw who the dancer was his face went pale and he swallowed hard.

It was the blonde dancer, fully dressed in his bunny outfit and smiling happily at him.

_”I hear it’s your birthday,”_

_“Uh, I…yeah, it is,”_

_“Well come on then! I’ll give you an amazing present,”_

Before Kaneki could react, the cheerful dancer grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the back room. The corridor was dark with dim lighting and various booths lined the hallway, all with curtains pulled. The pair came up to the one open booth and the dancer directed Kaneki to sit in the middle. The red leather creaked under Kaneki’s weight, but he hardly noticed as his nerves started getting the better of him and he began to sweat ever so slightly.

_”You look nervous. Is this your first dance?”_

_“Um, y-yes.”_

_“Ah, don’t worry, I promise you’ll enjoy it. What’s your name?”_

_“Kaneki. Can I ask for yours?”_

_“Sure. It’s Hideyoshi, but you can call me Hide.”_

_“Okay, Hide,” _the name sounded sweet in Kaneki’s ears and he enjoyed saying just a little too much.__

Hide closed the curtain behind him and straddled Kaneki’s lap, making his heart jump; it was beating so hard and fast, it felt like it would burst right out of his chest. When Hide was settled in his lap, he took a moment to inhale the alluring scent of vanilla wafting off Hide’s body. Hide must have taken notice, because as he begun to rock his hips above Kaneki’s crotch, he leaned his bare chest forward until it was mere centimeters from his nose.

_”Do you like it?”_

_“Um, like what?”_

_“My body spray. Do you like it?”_

_“Ah, yes. It…it smells nice,”_

Hide purred and wrapped his arms around Kaneki’s neck, increasing the intensity in his hips and allowing them to brush against Kaneki’s crotch every so often. Against his usually shy nature, Kaneki raised his shaky hands and rested them on Hide’s slender hips.

_”I-is this okay?”_

_“Hm, usually not, but for you I’ll make an exception. Just don’t get rough, okay?”_

_“I won’t! I mean, of course I won’t. I wouldn’t ever hurt you,”_

Hide laughed lowly into Kaneki’s ear, amused by his glaringly obvious good nature. Leaning back, Hide supported himself on the edge of the seat and rolled his hips back and forth, flicking them forward while his upper body swayed gracefully. Kaneki’s throat went dry as he watched, open mouthed and completely entranced by the man before him. His thumbs lightly stroked Hide’s hip bones, making him gasp from the sensitive touch. Like they did on the stage, their eyes locked on each other once more and Kaneki could hear his heartbeat pounding loudly in his ears. His tongue darted out to quench his dry lips, but his breathing soon turned to panting and within moments his lips were dry again.

The seductive smirk Hide once wore now faded. His lips were just barely parted and his eyes were half-lidded, glazed over with lust as he watched Kaneki pine for him. Hide’s thumbs dove under the waistband of his small shorts and pulled them down to reveal his erection; Kaneki’s eyes dropped and his face turned red, but his hands never left Hide’s hips. Hide gently stroked himself and moaned lightly, and although this little show was part of the transaction, part of him wanted to show Kaneki. He wanted to pleasure himself for him, wanted to see him crave him. Kaneki glanced up to Hide just once, asking for permission, and without thinking Hide gave it with a small nod.

_”Touch it, make me feel good.”_

Hesitantly, Kaneki’s fingertips glided over his skin and ghosted over Hide’s erection; it was so hot under his touch, it practically made him shiver. He grasped it firmly at the base and slowly stroked upward, giving the head a small squeeze and making Hide moan aloud. Kaneki continued to watch, loving every expression the blonde made as he touched and stroked him.

Unexpectedly, the song ended and with it so did the dance. Kaneki pulled his hand away and replaced it on Hide’s hips, and Hide reluctantly pulled his briefs back over his aching cock. He settled back in Kaneki’s lap and for a moment, the two sat in silence as they stared at each other, completely taken over with lust. In an instant, Hide lunged forward and kissed Kaneki deeply on the lips. Their tongues messily danced around each other, causing drool to seep over Kaneki’s lips and down his chin. Once Hide pulled away, the pair were left panting and Hide rose onto his feet from Kaneki’s lap.”

_“Here’s my number, I’m done at 2 am, but I have tomorrow off. Give me a call, okay?”_

Kaneki took the stripper’s memorabilia card and nodded quickly. Hide gave him once last kiss on the cheek and a quick wink before opening the curtain and heading to the dance floor to mingle with the crowd. Kaneki stood motionless at first, completely in shock from the events that occurred. He stared at the card in his hands; on the front was a lewd picture of the dancer in a cheap cowboy outfit, winking at the camera and licking his lips. On the back was his number, followed by a crudely drawn happy face. Reality struck Kaneki and soon he was grinning widely, his ears and cheeks flushed and his heart beating in excitement for the following day. He left the booth and headed back to join his friends at the bar.

_”Hey, Kaneki! So, was it worth it?”_

Kaneki turned to catch site of Hide, laughing and chatting with one of the customers. He smiled briefly and cleared his throat before turning back to his friends.

_”Definitely.”_


	2. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki finally works up the courage to call Hide, but their first date is hardly what he expected.

It had been a week since Kaneki’s birthday and while the majority of it was forgotten due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed that night, the one image that had burned deep in his mind was the sight of Hide, the blonde stripper who had graced him with a dance that night in his skimpy bunny costume that clung to his slender and pale body.

He released a small sigh and tapped his pen on his open notebook while his thoughts wandered, eventually resting on the risque card Hide had given him with his phone number on it.  He looked to the floor where he had tossed it carelessly during the last time he had tried to dial the number, but his nerves got the better of him.  The card was bent and grimy now, covered in food droppings and dirt, but the picture of Hide in his revealing cowboy uniform was still as clear as day.  Kaneki missed him, he wanted desperately to see him again, to feel his skin under his hands and his hot breath in his ear.

 _I’m going to call him,_ he thought.  Removing himself from his desk, he swiped the card and rested on the bed, cell phone pulled from his pocket and in his hand.

“ _This is it, Kaneki.  You’ve got to call him, you told him you would.  Just…dial the number…”_ his thumb ghosted over the phone pad as he pressed each number, “ _and…hit dial.”_

His thumb stopped, hovering over the button as his palms grew sweaty and his heart beat rapidly.  Inhaling a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pressed it, bringing the phone to his ear and freezing in anticipation as the phone rang.

“ _Hello, Hide here!”_ His voice sounded just as sweet as when he first heard it.  It soothed Kaneki down to his very bone and he released the breath he had been holding.

“ _H-hey, it’s Kaneki.”_

_“Kaneki?”_

_“Uh, y-yes.  I saw you last week?  At your work?  I was um…I was the birthday boy…”_

_“Oh!  Kaneki!  It’s about time you called!  What took so long?”_

_“Ah…I’ve been busy,”_ he laughed nervously as he lied, but he couldn’t possibly admit he was too scared to call, “ _Anyway, um, you wanted me to call so…”_

_“Damn right I did!  Listen, I don’t work tonight, let’s meet somewhere.  I’ll text you the address.  Be there at 7pm, got it?”_

_“S-sure!”_

_“All right, see you then, Kaneki.”_ The phone went silent and Kaneki dropped his hand.  His cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling and as much as he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t wipe it away.  A few seconds later, his phone alerted him to a new text message containing the address at which he was supposed to meet Hide.  Tossing his phone onto his bed, he stripped his old clothing and hopped into the shower.

* * *

The next few hours flew by and now he waited at the address he was texted and to his absolute disbelief, he was standing outside a hotel — not just any hotel, but a love hotel.

“ _Kaneki!”_

Shaking himself out of his trance, he turned to see Hide walking towards him, smiling wide and waving at him with no reservation.  He was dressed in casual sportswear with bright orange headphones hanging loosely about his neck.

After a quick greeting (in which Hide happily kissed Kaneki on either cheek), the pair headed inside with Hide leading the way while Kaneki attempted to hide himself from any familiar faces catching him at such a place.  Once they checked in, they were each given a swipe key and left for their room.

“ _I didn’t think this would be the type of place to meet,”_ Kaneki said as he watched Hide lead them to their room.

“ _Well, after last week, let’s just say…I couldn’t wait to see you again,”_ The blonde shot his signature wink over his shoulder to Kaneki, smiling at the flush of cheeks.

Once at their door, Hide quickly unlocked it with the swipe card and entered, tossing his jacket, bag, and headphones onto the small dining table nearby.  Kaneki glanced around the room as he shred his outerwear; besides the dining table to the left of the door, there was a king-sized bed in the middle of the room with a flatscreen television hanging on the wall across from it and a bright red couch on the other side of the room next to the large windows.  It was small, but it served its purpose.

Kaneki felt two hands wrap around his waist before being pulled in to Hide’s body.  He gasped and his nerves electrified as his anxiety rose from the sudden personal touch, but the gentle lips that kissed his neck and the tongue that lazily drew small circles in the crook of his neck eased him.

“ _H-Hide, shouldn’t we get to know each other first?  You know, talk or something?”_

“ _We are getting to know each other.”_

_“B-but Hide, I don’t know if I—”_

Kaneki was spun around then in Hide’s arms, his grey eyes meeting Hide’s soft brown ones that were already glazed over with lust.

“ _Kaneki, I like you.  I’m not going to use you and then chuck you away, okay?  If you want, we can go on a proper date after, but for right now—”_ Hide leaned in slowly, as if he were worried of spooking the shy brunette, and placed a light kiss upon Kaneki’s lips “— _let’s have some fun.  I know you’ve missed me, I’ve missed you too.”_

The kiss was all it took to make up Kaneki’s mind.  His hands soon found their way to Hide’s waist under his shirt and he found himself diving in for more of Hide’s luscious lips, his tongue roving over them and begging for entrance.  Hide happily obliged and open his mouth, welcoming Kaneki’s tongue with a slippery stroke from his own.  As the two of them kissed and sucked on one another, they clumsily made their way towards the bed, leaving a trail of clothing behind them.

Just as Kaneki was about to sit on the edge of the bed, Hide stopped him and switched directions.

“ _Wait, let’s pick up where we left off last week.  Sit there,”_ Hide nodded his head in the direction of the couch and Kaneki obeyed, taking a seat and placing his hands back on Hide’s hips as he settled into his lap.

“ _Wow, look how hard you are.  You really missed me, huh?”_ he teased, a sly smile playing across his face as he eyed Kaneki’s flushed erection.

“ _I could say the same for you, you know…”_ As if to retaliate, Kaneki grabbed hold of Hide’s own leaking dick, making him gasp and smile even wider.  He began to rock his hips, pushing and pulling his cock out of Kaneki’s grasp. Kaneki’s mouth began to salivate as he watched the lewd display and he could feel his pre-cum smear on his palm as he moved.  As Hide’s hips picked up speed, Kaneki would tightly squeeze the head of his cock and pump him in time with his movements. 

Wrapping his arms around Kaneki’s neck, Hide leaned in and moaned lightly in his ear, “ _Ah, Kaneki, this feels so good…I want to feel more of you.”_

Kaneki’s breath hitched and the sound of his heartbeat echoed in his ears.  Tilting his head towards his partner, he began to lightly suck on his neck, but he was interrupted by two of Hide’s finger slipping into his mouth.  Hide watched as Kaneki’s tongue wove in between his fingers and took them in until they hit the back of his tongue.  Once they were slicked up, Hide replaced his fingers with his tongue and brought his digits to his backside with Kaneki’s hands following suit, sliding along Hide’s skin and coming to a rest on his round ass while one hand joined Hide’s, helping him to tease and probe his hole until pushing his fingers inside.

“ _Mmm, Kaneki…”_ moaned Hide in between kisses as his fingers dived inside him.  He scissored himself gently, spreading his hole wider while Kaneki’s fingertips gently danced around his fingers to play with his entrance.

“ _Haah, should be enough I think,”_

_“Are you sure?  I don’t want to hurt you,”_

Hide huffed a laugh at Kaneki’s sincerity and kissed him once more on the lips

“ _I’ll be fine.”_

Spitting into his hand, Hide smeared his saliva across his entrance and positioned Kaneki’s now rock-hard cock against him.  For a moment, they paused and stared at each other, anticipating what was to come and as Hide began to lower himself onto him, Kaneki moaned in unison with him while his hands squeezed his firm ass.

“ _Ah!  H-Hide…”_

_“Ngh, do I feel good?”_

_“S-so good…you feel so good…”_

_“Show me how good I feel…”_

Spurred on by Hide’s hot words, Kaneki positioned himself so he could throw his strength into his hips, thrusting upwards into Hide as Hide slammed down to meet him.  The two worked together perfectly; as their hips collided and brought immeasurable pleasure, their mouths worked on any bare skin they could reach, constantly kissing, licking, and sucking to leave their mark on each other.

Mimicking his actions back at the strip club, Hide pulled away and rested his hands behind him on Kaneki’s knees, leaning back to expose himself and allow Kaneki to watch his cock plunge in and out of his hole.  Kaneki’s eyes dropped to his crotch and the very sight of him going balls deep into Hide turned his mind to mush; his jaw went slack and and his grip tightened as he pushed himself further and fucked Hide even harder.  Hide’s back arched slightly and his head dropped backwards as he moaned loudly from the intense pleasure coursing through him each time Kaneki hit his prostate.

“ _K-Kaneki!  I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!”_

_“Haah, haah, me too!”  
_

_“Ngh!  Ah, aahh!!”_

Hide dove forward and embraced Kaneki once more, groaning into his ear as he released his seed over his abdomen.  His muscles tightened around Kaneki sensitive member, pushing him over and forcing his climax; Kaneki dug his nails into Hide’s flesh and pressed his cheek against Hide’s shoulder as his cock emptied into him.

They stayed like that for a while, slowly coming down from their joined ecstasy.  They each peppered each others sweat, slick skin with tender kisses, trailing along their shoulders and collarbones until coming to rest on their lips.  Kaneki’s hands gently ghosted up and down Hide’s back and in turn, Hide snaked his hands up Kaneki’s soft abdomen, over his chest, and up his neck into his dark hair.

_Grrrll~~_

Pausing, they each looked to Kaneki’s stomach and broke out into small chuckles.

“ _Hungry?”_

 _“Just a little,”_ answered Kaneki sheepishly.

“ _Let’s go on that dinner date then, and after…we can come back here and continue.  It’s only 8pm, we have a long night.”_

Kaneki’s face blushed fiercely and Hide simply laughed before removing himself from his lap and heading to the bathroom to clean up.  Kaneki remained on the couch while Hide cleaned up; he could hardly believe he had just had sex with the gorgeous man from the strip club, and even more so that the same man was willing to continue seeing him.

Once Hide finished in the bathroom, Kaneki quickly splashed his face to refresh himself then got dressed.  Hand-in-hand, the pair left their room, and neither of them could wait to return.


	3. The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their heated meeting, Kaneki and Hide finally go on a proper date, but Kaneki finds something out about his lustful dancer that he has a hard time letting go of.

Kaneki was glad to finally be out of the love hotel; even though what transpired there was worthwhile, he couldn’t shake the feeling of taboo that permeated his body while he was there.

The restaurant they chose was quiet and casual and had only a few customers inside, the rest being out at bars since it was a Saturday night.  The hostess lead them to a quiet area with moderate lighting and Kaneki swiftly took his spot in the booth while Hide sat across from him.  Their hostess, a middle-aged woman with long, black hair, was quick to take their order and as soon as she left, a comfortable silence fell over them.

“ _So, Kaneki, are you in school right now or working?”_

_“I’m in school, I’m just about to finish my degree in Japanese Literature.  Do you have any degrees?”_

_“Actually, yeah.  I got my degree in International Studies a year back.”_

_“Oh, so…how did you end up in your, uh, current work?”_

_“I couldn‘t find a job right away in my field of study and rent was starting to get tight.  I saw an ad for the club, figured it’d be easy money, and I was hired right away.  Turns out I actually really like working there though.”_

_“Really?  Don’t you feel…I don’t know…”_

_“Used?  Like a sex object?”_

_“I-I guess so, yeah.”_

_“Hmm, sort of, but I don’t mind.  I just like dancing and I kind of like the club atmosphere anyway, stripping and lap dances are just a side effect, at least that’s how I see it.”_

_“Oh, hm.”_

_“You don’t think less of me, do you?”_

“ _N-no!  Not at all, I was just curious and you never really hear from the, uh, dancer_ ‘ _s perspective_ , _so it’s interesting.”_

Hide smiled warmly and gently rubbed his foot against Kaneki’s who happily reciprocated his actions with a kind smile of his own, his cheekbones turning a light pink.

“ _Here’s your drinks, boys.  Ready to order?”_

The pair broke away and placed their order, only to be back on each other as soon as they were left alone.  They continued to talk and ramble about each other, each man learning something new and invigorating about the other.  Kaneki seemed to lose himself in their conversation, but then a rather soft pressure on his groin broke him out of his gaze and he peered down at himself to see a bright orange sneaker rubbing against his crotch. He looked back to Hide with a questioning look, but Hide only snickered mischievously and continued to assault the hardening member under Kaneki’s clothes.

“ _Hide!”_ Kaneki whispered as his eyes darted around them to see if anyone noticed and normally someone would had anyone actually been within their vicinity.

“ _What is it?”_

_“W-what are you doing?”_

_“I’m teasing you,”_ his foot pushed down harder, just enough to increase the pleasure, and the resulting firmness he felt beneath his foot had him smirking widely with his white teeth glistening under the overhead light.

Kaneki blushed fiercely, torn between wanting to keep his foot there and wanting to push him away.  The resounding clamour of dishes falling in the kitchen nearby snapped him back, however, and he immediately pushed Hide’s foot away from his crotch, snapping his knees together to block any further attempts.

“ _S-seriously!  We shouldn’t do something like that in such a—-huh?!”_

Shrugging off Kaneki’s concern, Hide ducked under the table and within seconds Kaneki could feel hands on each of his knees, pushing them apart before worming their way up to his crotch and undoing his belt.  

“ _Hide!_ “ he whispered, his eyes going wide as his semi-hard cock was pulled out from the zipper and Hide began to stroke it.

“ _Quick, pretend you’re playing a game on your phone,”_ he explained, giving the head a quick lick and causing a small gasp to escape Kaneki’s throat.

“ _I-I don’t have any on my phone,”_

 _“Okay, use my phone then.  Here,”_ he quickly typed in the four-digit password and handed his phone to Kaneki, “ _and move forward, your hips are too far.”_

Swallowing hard, Kaneki leaned back against the leather seating so his hips slid forward and for once, prayed that their waitress was slow with delivering their food.  Looking at Hide’s phone, he saw there were two unanswered text messages displayed on the screen, each from a different person.

**Hey, sexy ;)**

**Hide!  Are you busy later?  We should meet up~**

His heart sank for a moment, but the hot, wet sensation of Hide’s mouth around him quickly distracted him and he resumed his original duty.  He quickly found a game to play and started it up, hoping what they were doing wasn’t too obvious.  

Every now and then he would look down to see Hide’s blonde head bob up and down on his cock, his drool dripping down his length and over Hide’s knuckles as his fist pumped up and down where his mouth couldn’t reach.  For Kaneki, who was usually quite vocal when it came to sex, staying quiet was by far one of the toughest tasks he’s ever had to accomplish.  He could hardly focus on the game he was playing and spent more time losing than actually trying to win.  

“ _Here you are.  Oh, where’s your friend gone to?”_

Kaneki swore he almost jumped right out of his seat.  He lifted his arms off the table as she placed his food in front of him, placing the other where Hide was sitting.  _When did she get here?!  I didn’t even hear her!  Oh god, oh god, oh god…._

_“Uh, he went to the bathroom.  He should be back soon.”_

_“Oh, sure thing.  Well, I’ll be back in a few to check on you guys,”_

_“Ah n-no need!  I’m sure the food is great and we have everything we need!”_

_“O-kay?  Enjoy then.”_

As soon as the waitress was out of sight, Kaneki tossed Hide’s phone onto the table and his hands were instantly in Hide’s hair, pushing down on him to help his efforts.  For a moment, Hide popped off, licking his swollen lips while his hand continued to pump him hard and fast.

“ _Does it feel good?”_

_“It’s–-you’re–-I-I think I’m gonna cum soon.”_

_“Mmm, good.”_ His lips were back on him, this time sucking even harder and moving even faster with the help of Kaneki’s hands.

The adrenaline pumping through him from the idea of getting caught mixed with the incredible sensation of being sucked off had his orgasm rising at an intense rate.  Kaneki could barely focus on anything else, such as if someone was watching, if their waitress had seen them or maybe even _knew_ what was happening, but as his climax drew closer he cared less and less.

“ _Hide!  I’m…I’m!”_

The moan that vibrated around him from Hide’s tight throat is what did him in – he could feel his balls clench and his fists did the same, grasping handfuls of blonde hair as his seed poured out into Hide’s waiting mouth, swallowing each gob down as it entered.  Kaneki had to grit his teeth so as not to cry out and when it was all over, his whole body relaxed and he slumped against the booth, releasing Hide’s hair from his death grip and quickly tucking himself away when he felt Hide leave from between his legs.  When Hide was back in his seat, he was licking his lips and hands clean of the mess Kaneki had left and instantly, the dark flush of red was back on Kaneki’s cheekbones.

“ _I can’t believe you did that!”_

Hide only laughed, doing his best to keep it as quiet as possible from behind his hand.

“ _Who cares, you liked it didn’t you?  I know I did.  Oh look!  Food’s here.”_

Kaneki eyed the blonde hard, attempting to scold him through his tough gaze, but it didn’t seem to work as Hide dove right in and started eating.He was right, no doubt, he really did enjoy it even thought he fear of getting caught had him on edge the entire time, but…if he were to be honest with himself, that almost made it better.

Sighing in defeat, Kaneki slid his hips back and proceeded to eat and within moments, he could feel Hide’s foot back on his own.  He smiled at him just as before and as if nothing happened, their date continued.  As happy as he was, Kaneki couldn’t help but think of the text messages from earlier and for the rest of the night, they remained in the back of his mind, eating away at him slowly.


	4. The First Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The text messages bother Kaneki to no end and soon his thoughts wander to more sinister areas. He decides it's time to confront Hide, but things don't go quite as he expected.

After their dinner date, Kaneki and Hide returned to their hotel and before Kaneki was even through the door Hide had his hands roaming under his shirt and pants, eager for another round.  Kaneki was more than happy to provide, but during their romp, thoughts of Hide’s past lovers haunted him and he found he was unable to enjoy their sex as he did before.

“ _Hey, are you okay?  You seem distant.”_

_“Ah haha yes, I’m fine!  I’m just…really happy to be here with you.”_

_“Heh, me too.”_

* * *

 

Two weeks passed since then, and Kaneki’s nerves felt like frayed wires; electrically charged with nowhere to go, a constant build up of energy with no release.  He had tried to call Hide a few times to meet up again, but each time he was either working or he “already had plans”.  Or, if he texted, Hide would either text back a few hours later or not at all.

_Plans with who?  Where?  Maybe…a customer?  Has he seen them before?  Or is it someone new?  
_

Such thoughts ate away at Kaneki’s very core and as each day passed, these thoughts grew more sinister as his jealousy flourished amongst his insecurity

_Maybe they’re on a date.  Maybe they’re…at the hotel.  Our hotel.  Did he go to the same restaurant too?  Maybe the reason the waitress didn’t bother us much was because of Hide – what if he has a reputation there?  He probably does…_

The nagging voice in his head continued on like that, even during his studies, making attending class far too difficult to focus on.  He needed to put an end to these fears and there was only one way of doing so.

**Hide, when are you free next?  Please can we meet?  Even just for coffee or something.**

He hit send, instant regret washing over him.  _Shit, that sounded so pathetic._

Tucking his phone away into his back pocket, Kaneki resumed his note-taking in class, attempting to focus all his attention on his professor until the end of the lecture knowing full-well Hide wouldn’t answer right away.  At least, that’s what he thought, until he felt his phone vibrate – he all but froze, unsure if he had truly felt it or if his mind was simply playing tricks.  Ensuring no one was watching him, he removed his phone and flipped it out – it was Hide.

**Sure!  Sorry I’ve been so slack lately, I’ve been busy with work.  How about tomorrow afternoon?  I work again tonight, so a coffee on my day off tomorrow would be great!**

**Okay, we’ll meet at the cafe at 1, sound good?**

**Awesome!  See you then <3**

Kaneki scoffed at the emoji; any other time his heart would be fluttering with his mind sent into a haze, but not today.  With his phone back in his pocket, he continued on with the day, counting down the hours and preparing himself for the inevitable confrontation.

* * *

The day passed slowly and with it being a Saturday, Kaneki had no classes to attend.  He attempted to study, but to no avail.  He arrived at the cafe an hour early, planning out what to say, how to say it, and even going as far as expecting what Hide would say.

_I’m so sorry, Kaneki!  You’re right, I’ve treated you horribly.  I’ll quit my job at the strip club and cut all contact with those other guys, okay?_

_Thank you, Hide_ , _for understanding where I’m coming from.  I just want to be happy with you, I’ll even help you find another job!_

 _“Hmm, but where would he work?”_ Kaneki thought aloud, working through various options that would suit Hide.  So lost in thought, he didn’t even notice Hide come into the store until he called out to him.

“ _Kaneki!  I’ve missed you so much!!”_

 _“Ah, Hide!”_ Hide instantly hugged Kaneki while he remained sitting, planting his usual kiss on his cheek before taking his seat across from him.

“ _I feel like it’s been forever!  How have you been? How’s school?”_

 _“Ah, school’s fine,”_ his nerves were coming back now and his throat began to close up, like there was something large blocking his airway and preventing himself from talking, “ _Um…h-how’s work?”  Damn, I really didn’t want to ask that._

_“Work’s fine, as usual. Some guy got crazy wasted the other night and tried to fight the bartender, then this one guy tried to get in to stop only to get a face full of fist.  He got knocked out cold!  I think it took two, no, three bouncers to finally get him out!  So then—”_

_“Hide, stop.”_

_“Ah…okay,”_ Hide’s usual cheeriness faded and an uncomfortable silence fell upon them.

“ _Is something wrong, Kaneki?  You’re more serious than usual”_

“ _S-something’s been…bothering me, ever since our last date”_ All of Kaneki’s bravado he once had was gone now, deflated along with his courage as he stared into Hide’s confused, brown eyes.

“ _Remember when you were, uh, under the table and you gave me your phone to play a game.  Well..on the screen were a couple texts from some guys, I’m guessing,”_ Kaneki noted Hide’s brows raise a the mention of the text – he knew what he was talking about, “ _and I just want to confirm something: I’m not…the only customer you’ve dated, right?”_

Kaneki could hardly muster the courage to look at Hide, but when he did, he saw his cheeks go red and his brows furrow.  _Is he…angry?_

 _“W-well_ , _ah…,”_ Hide sighed and rubbed the back of his head, “ _No…you’re not the first customer I’ve dated.”_

Kaneki felt the sting of betrayal hit his heart, but he kept going.

“ _Am I the first one you’ve…slept with?”_

 _“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Kaneki”_ Kaneki shot up, completely offended.  Why the hell didn’t he have the right to know?

“ _What do you mean?  Why can’t I know?”_

_“What does it matter?  Who cares if I’ve slept with other people, I don’t care if you’ve slept with others!”_

_“Y-yeah, but I’m not a stripper!”_

Kaneki gasped as soon as the words left his mouth and Hide’s expression instantly wore one of hurt.  He had said that a little louder than intended and suddenly noticed all the eyes staring at them.

“ _Hide, I’m sorry,”_

_“So that’s it, huh?  You said you didn’t have a problem with me being a dancer!”_

_“I-I don’t!”_

_“You’re clearly lying!  Tell me, if I worked at this coffee shop, would you be worrying about how many people I slept with, then?”_

_“It’s not–I don’t–”_

_“I like you, Kaneki.  Ever since we’ve met, I’ve thought of no one else but you.  Yes, I’ve slept with people, yes those people have been customers, but they aren’t like you.  I don’t know what I have to do to prove that to you, but I’m not quitting being a dancer.  I like my job, and I make good money.”_

_“Hide, I’m…I’m sorry.  I just…I–”_

_“I have to go.”_ Hide stood up to leave, shaking the slender table with his abrupt movements and Kaneki began to panic.  This isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how things were supposed to go, but even so he didn’t want Hide to leave.

“ _Wait!  Hide!  Please,”_

_“I don’t want to talk right now.  If you want…I’ll text you sometime later, but right now I just want to be alone.”_

Then, he was gone.  Kaneki watched has Hide left the store and walked past the large glass windows.  His word of texting him later helped ease his worry, but he knew he wasn’t out of the clear yet.  He really messed things up this time.

* * *

 

Later that night, as Kaneki lay restless in bed, his phone vibrated on the desk nearby, disturbing his thoughts and the silence he bathed in.

**Do you want to go for dinner tomorrow night?**

Kaneki’s eyes flew open and he quickly replied back.

**Hide!  I’m so sorry!  What I said was stupid, please forgive me!**

**What’s your answer?  Yes or no?**

**Yes!  Yes, let’s go for dinner.**

**Okay, meet me here at 6pm tomorrow.  And Kaneki…I wasn’t joking when I said you aren’t like other guys.  I’ll prove it to you, just watch.**

Kaneki sat in silence, unsure what to make of Hide’s text.  _Does that mean he forgives me?  Or is he still mad?  What’s he going to do?_

After connecting his phone to its charger, he lay back in bed for another restless night as new thoughts stirred in his mind.


	5. Conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide and Kaneki's relationship has grown since their heated argument, yet there's a change that Kaneki feels is putting their relationship at a standstill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, wanted to focus more on Kaneki's inner feelings. The next one will probably be the finale!

The next 24 hours were the absolute slowest and torturous hours Kaneki had to wait through.  He hardly slept that night, and work seemed to drag on every time he peered at the clock and noted only a handful of minutes had passed each time.  When work had finally ended, he rushed home, showered and dressed, then waited a whole other hour before their designated meeting time.

Within thirty minutes, he left for the destination and eagerly awaited Hide’s arrival. This time, he found himself standing in front of a well-known sushi restaurant; when Hide arrived, he was wearing sleek jeans and a tight sweater, along with his usual bright orange sneakers.  Since their argument, Kaneki was worried Hide might act differently around him, but was happily surprised when Hide embraced him in a warm hug and kissed him quickly on his lips.

“ _Ready for our date?”_

_“You have no idea, I thought work would never end with how slow time was passing by.”_

Smiling, Hide grabbed Kaneki’s hand and lead him inside.

Their date went rather smoothly, to Kaneki’s relief; no mention of their argument, Hide’s work, or his personal life surfaced and the pair enjoyed a rather calm and peaceful dinner.  Additionally, Hide made no moves similar to their last dinner date, and the most contact they made was simple hand-holding and foot rubbing.  After dinner, they went to the cinema to watch the latest horror movie that had released, and Kaneki was sure Hide would try something then; it was dark, they were seated far enough away from the other patrons, why wouldn’t he make a move?  Yet, throughout the entire movie, Hide did nothing more than hold Kaneki’s hand, or wrap his arm around his shoulder when Kaneki snuggled into his side during the suspenseful parts.

It was odd, in a way, for Hide to act so…tame, and for a while Kaneki wondered if maybe his argument had turned Hide off from him; however, whenever Hide’s thumb lightly stroked his, when his hand squeezed his during the jumps-cares in the movie, or he rubbed his knee against Kaneki’s as of saying, “I’m here, with you”, Kaneki’s mind was put at ease and he thought nothing more of it.

As weeks passed, so did the tension from their argument.  When they were together, they focused solely on each other and their relationship seemed to grow as they became closer than ever before.  Hide would sometimes help Kaneki with his studies in the form of quizzing him for his upcoming exams, and Kaneki eventually learned more about Hide’s past and his family.  Sometimes, Hide’s phone would ding, signalling a new message and Kaneki would feel his anxiety rise as he watched Hide’s eyes roam over the lettering on the screen.  He would always send something quick back, and then tuck his phone away for the rest of the night.  Kaneki’s mind would begin to race and he always desperately wanted to know what the text said, who was contacting him, and what it was Hide said back.  However, he knew he couldn’t, it was unfair of him to try and invade Hide’s privacy like that, even if it plagued him to no end.

“ _You okay, Kaneki_?”

“ _Yeah, I’m fine.”_

That was the usual exchange that followed whenever Hide noticed Kaneki’s obvious worry on his face, and even though Kaneki wanted to say something against it, he knew his efforts would be fruitless, so the topic was always dropped after.

“ _I don’t think I can study anymore.  My mind feels like mush!”_

“ _Come on, Kaneki, keep going.  You’ve only got three chapters left for tonight,”_

_“But Hide—-, I don’t even know what I’m reading anymore.”  
_

Kaneki dropped his forehead onto his textbook and rolled it from side-to-side, something Hide found absolutely pitiful as he chuckled from the sight.

“ _Maybe you just need to rest your brain.  Have a nap.”_

_“Only if you nap with me,”_

_“Whaaaat?  What are you, a kid?  You need me to put you to sleep?”_

_“Yes!  Please, Hide, help me rest so I can study and not fail my exam!”_ Kaneki raised from his stomach and kneeled on the floor, bowing down low as he begged for Hide’s help.

“ _Geeze, so much pressure.  All right, all right, to the bed then.”_

Hide rose from the floor and laid down on his side, one arm curled under his pillow and Kaneki did the same, facing Hide on the bed with their faces so close their foreheads almost touched.  Their free hands came up between them and enclosed around another, and Hide proceeded to stroke his thumb with his own, as he always did.

“ _Don’t forget to set an alarm, or we’ll sleep the whole night away.  One hour, ‘kay?  You need to finish those chapters.”_

 _“Yes, mom, one hour,”_ Kaneki teased as he reached back to program the alarm into his phone.

_“Tch, calling me ‘mom’ after you begged me to nap with you,”_

_“Don’t make fun, it’s not my fault I like cuddling you…”_

Kaneki blushed as he said those last words and Hide couldn’t help but smile and blush in return

“ _Then cuddle me better.”_

Wrapping his hand around Kaneki’s waist, Hide pulled him in close until their were warmly pressed against one another.  Kaneki lowered himself slightly so he could rest his forehead against Hide’s chest, and Hide rested his cheek atop Kaneki’s head, pushing his dark hair out of his face so he could comfortably sleep.  Each man had an arm around the other and were soon engulfed by a dull warmth as their body heat built up between them, lulling each of them closer and closer to a deep sleep.

As Kaneki’s tired mind began to doze, their closeness had him thinking of _other_ activities, such the kind that hadn’t taken place in quite a while now, and his body soon reacted as he realized just how close together they were.

“ _Hide…”_

 _“Yeah?”_ As if Hide had been thinking the same thing, his voice broke as he spoke and he swallowed down the saliva in his mouth to quench his parched throat.

“ _You know, it’s….well, I mean…it’s been a while since we, um…you know.”_

Hide remained silent in uncertainty as he thought of what to say next, “ _Yeah, I guess it has been.”_

Kaneki felt his body shift beside him and he wondered if this topic made him uncomfortable.  _Why would it?  We’ve done it already, he has no reason to feel uneasy with me._

 _“Did you, maybe, want to…t-touch me?”_ Kaneki felt as nervous as he did their first time, but even he was someone who had his limits and a few weeks without any sort of intimate touching was beginning to wear on him.  His hand shakily glided down from Hide’s waist to his hip, and from there began to creep to Hide’s front, but was instantly redirected as Hide grabbed onto his hand and brought it up to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on the back of it.

“ _N-not tonight.  You really need to study, you can’t afford to fail that exam, remember?  S-so, get some rest and we’ll finish the chapters then maybe go for a bite to eat, okay?”_

Kaneki was almost shocked from Hide’s uncharacteristic response, but he nodded and relaxed once more into the bed.

“ _Yeah, you’re right.  M-maybe next time?”_

_“Yeah, maybe.”_

Their hands remained together and their minds soon settled as they drifted off to sleep, but just before Kaneki dozed off, he couldn’t help but notice the hard length pressing against him as they cuddled closer together, just as he was sure Hide noticed the hardness that pushed against him.


	6. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki can't handle the distance that seems to be growing between he and Hide and decides it's time to resolve the tension between them.

“ _Haah, nggh, ah!”_

Kaneki’s hand pumped faster and faster over his length while his other rolled his balls in between his fingers and squeezed them ever-so-slightly.  He was so close, so very close, and his hips writhed off the bed to seek more friction and more pleasure from his hand.

“ _Shit, Hide…Hide!  Ngh!!_ “

His back arched and he came for the second time that day, and it was just as unsatisfying as the last.

“ _Hah…shit.”_

He was quick to clean himself and tossed the soiled tissue paper aside, adding onto the mountain that over-filled his waste basket next to his desk.  It’s only been two days since he saw Hide, but _ages_ since he touched him – properly, touched him.  He had never felt so frustrated in all his life, but no matter how many times he tried to pleasure himself, it was never as good as being with him.

“ _I miss him…”_

He grabbed his phone and sent off a quick text to Hide,

**Hey.  Are you busy today?**

He waited patiently, knowing it would only be a few minutes before he responded.  The small ding of his phone moments later only validated his thoughts.

**Hey.  I’m on my way to work.  Why?**

“ _Damn._ “ Kaneki threw his head back against the pillow in defeat.

**No reason…just miss you.**

**Miss you, too.  I’ll come by after, k?  See you.**

Kaneki gave up and put his phone back aside.  It was just past 5 p.m. – he had over eight hours to go before Hide got off work, probably another hour after that until he actually got to his place.  

“ _Haah….I hate this.”_

He glanced around his room as he tried to find something to bide his time.  He was all caught up with school, but he could read ahead…

“ _Ugh, next.”_

His eyes settled on the book he had bought last week and upon remembering where had left off, he snatched the book off his desk and settled back onto his bed.

* * *

Hours passed and Kaneki flipped his book closed after reading the last page, satisfied with yet another thrilling story.  When he checked the clock, he still had about four hours left before Hide was done work.  

“ _Now what?”_

He tossed and turned in bed, switching from this position to that, hoping his boredom would tire his mind and he would sleep the rest of the night away; however, mercy did not show kindness to him today.  His mind was running a mile a minute with thoughts of his boyfriend – the way he smelled, how soft his hair was, the jokes he made, the way he danced…the way he looked in his bunny outfit the first time he met him…

“ _Screw it.”_

Rising his aching body from his bed, he headed to the bathroom to clean up his appearance and changed into fresher clothes, then left his dorm room.

* * *

Within two train rides and a quick walk from the station, he reached the strip-club.  The parking lot was packed and the music flowed out to the street from the double-doors that were held open, guarded by two bouncers who nodded to Kaneki on his way in after checking his I.D.  The second check went just as well and as he made his way inside and the music grew louder, so did the cheers and hollers of the very-drunk patrons.  He managed to snag a seat near the wall and before he could settle in, a tall male with a bare chest and tight shorts came up to him to take his order.

“ _Hey.  What are you drinking tonight?”_

_“Ah, nothing, thanks.”_

_“Sorry, it’s a three drink minimum.”_

_“What?  Um…okay, nothing strong and nothing that actually tastes like alcohol.  I’m kind of a lightweight.  Might as well get me three glasses, too.”_

_“Got it.”_

Kaneki sighed and got what little cash he had out.  The man returned with three glasses filled with blue and red liquid and set them down in front of him.

“ _What is this?”_

_“It’s called a ‘Pornstar.  It’s vodka and it’s sweet, you won’t taste a thing.”_

_“Ah, okay, thank you.  Is Hide here?”_

_“Hide?  Yeah, he’s over there,”_ the man nodded towards the opposite corner of the room where Hide stood – he was hanging off an older customer who had his large, chubby fingers gliding up and down his side until it rested on his rear, giving it a light smack to which Hide gasped and teasingly smacked him on the shoulder for.

“ _Do you want me to tell him you’re here?”_

_“No, that’s okay.  I’ll talk to him when he’s free.”_

The waiter nodded and left, leaving Kaneki to stew in his insecurity.  

_It’s okay, Kaneki.  He’s working, that’s all. He’s just working, he’s just working…_

When Hide was done with the old man, he left his side and walked to the backstage.

_Probably getting ready to dance.  I guess it’ll be a bit before we can talk._

Kaneki settled in to his chair and took a sip of his overly sweet drink.

* * *

During Hide’s dance, he had caught sight of Kaneki by the wall and made his way over once he was finished on stage and re-dressed.  His outfit for the night was a cheap cop uniform that consisted of a hat, booty shorts, knee-high boots, and a shoulder holster for his two fake guns that had one strap coming across his chest.

He walked briskly over to Kaneki’s side, ignoring the whistles and cat-calls he received along the way.

“ _Kaneki!  What are you doing here?”_

 _“Hey, ah…I guess it’s kinda weird, me being here, um…I just,”_ Kaneki sighed and put his face in his palms to try and hide his embarrassment, “ _I just couldn’t wait to see you.”_

He was surrounded by warmth as Hide wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in to a tight hug.

“ _You’re so cute, but doesn’t it bother you?  Seeing me at work?”_

Kaneki took a glance around and noticed all the men without dancers who were eyeing Hide’s tight shorts.

“ _A little…is there somewhere we can be, er, alone?”_

“ _Alone?  There’s just the booths in the back, but those are reserved for lap dances.”_

 _“Then…I guess I want a lap dance,”_ Kaneki pulled out the last of his money with some regret since his next paycheck wasn’t until the next week, but he needed to be alone with Hide and if that meant being broke for a few days, then he didn’t care.

“ _Kaneki!  I’m not gonna charge you for a dance,”_ Hide leaned in so he could whisper his next words, “ _I’ll give it back to you when we’re alone, ‘kay?”  
_

He gave Kaneki a quick kiss on his neck, then grabbed his hand to lead him to the backrooms.  Once there, he plopped down on the cracked leather seat with Hide sitting beside him.  _Ah…this is where we first met._

“ _Here, take it back,”_ Hide held the bill between two fingers and waved it towards Kaneki.

_“It’s okay, it’s part of your work after all.”_

_“Kaneki, take it.”_

_“No, it’s yours.”_

_“Kaneki!”_

Hide began to force the bill into Kaneki’s jacket to which Kaneki fought back and pulled his jacket away.  They looked at each other seriously for a moment, then it started again – Hide would aim for a pocket to try and shove the bill into, and Kaneki would either block his hand or pull away.

“ _Agh, you’re so stubborn!”_

_“Just keep it!  I don’t want to rob you of your earnings.”_

_“Is that so?  Well, I guess since you’ve paid me, that means you get a lap dance, right?”_

_“Hide, you don’t need–”_

Before he could finish, Hide climbed onto his lap and rested his arms on his shoulders; meanwhile, Kaneki’s hands went straight to Hide’s hips, as if on reflex.  The two sat in silence after, staring at each others’ flushes faces from their struggle minutes before and as if they shared thoughts, their eyes wandered to places further down – Hide bit his lip when he eyes Kaneki’s crotch, knowing what was beneath, and Kaneki gulped as he roamed over Hide’s half-naked body that sat in front of him like a piece of bait waiting on a hook.  His thumbs stroked Hide’s sensitive hip bones and the blonde reacted with a small gasp that he poorly tried to hide.

“ _Hide…”_

“ _Y-yeah?”_

 _“W-why…ah…”_ he wanted to ask, he wanted so badly to ask him why he’s been so distant, but he was scared of the answer; rather, he was terrified, but he needed to know.

“ _Do you like me?”_

Hide blushed slightly and looked away for a moment before meeting Kaneki’s gaze again, “ _Yeah, I like you.  Do you like me?”_

_“Yes, of course I do.”_

_“Then why are you asking?”_

_“Because…because…”_ his hands felt clammy and he pulled them away from Hide’s soft, warm skin as if his touch were contaminating him somehow, “ _because you don’t…touch me anymore.”_

There it was, he finally said it. His words hung heavy in the air, mixing with the dull beat of the music that echoed from the club down the hallway and the longer they stayed there, the harder his heart pounded.  Kaneki lowered his gaze and awaited Hide’s answer and mentally prepared himself for the worst.

“ _Haah…I don’t get you.”_

 _“W-what?”_ Kaneki looked up to Hide and saw him running a hand through his blonde hair with a frustrated expression on his face.

“ _When we were sleeping together, you thought I was using you, or that you were just ‘another guy’.  So, I figured, ‘Well, I’ll stop sleeping with him!  Then he’ll see that I enjoy his company even we aren’t having sex!’  Yet now you’re wondering if I even like you!  What do you want?  I don’t know what makes you happy!”_

He watched Kaneki’s face as he tried to process what Hide said and when he didn’t give an immediate reply, Hide grew even more impatient.

“ _You have no idea how hard it’s been for me.  Every time we were alone, all I wanted to do was touch you, but I held back because I knew it was important to you, or so I thought.  I know it’s not easy dating a stripper, I get it, but I’ve done nothing to give you a reason to not trust me and I’ve been trying so hard to prove to you I’m not using you.  I just…I just want you to be happy with me.”  
_

Kaneki was absolutely dumb-founded; this entire time, he thought he was the lesser of the two when in reality, Hide was feeling the exact same way. 

_This is all because of what you said.  You made him feel this way._

Guilt and horror overflowed his heart when he realized he was the cause of Hide’s feeling of self-worth and self-deprecation.  Instinctively, he reached forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Hide’s waist, pulling him in as close as possible to his body and resting his cheek on his bare chest.

“ _I’m so sorry, Hide!  I never wanted you to feel this way.  I’m so, so happy with you; the happiest I have ever been!  I thought–I thought I made you unhappy, that you were angry with me after what I said and that’s why you weren’t touching me anymore.  I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry!”_

Kaneki laid every thing out for him, making sure there was no room for misinterpretation, and once he was done he held Hide tight against him in fear of him pulling away.  Hide’s chest began, causing Kaneki to pull back and look up – he was laughing.

“ _Hide?”_

_“I’m sorry, I just…we’re such a couple of dorks.  All this time we both thought we were making the mistake and now we’re sitting in a lap dance booth, baring our souls and getting all emotional over a total misunderstanding.  I can’t help but laugh at how stupid we are.”_

Hide continued to laugh and soon, Kaneki joined him with his own quiet chuckle that turned into obnoxious laughter that broke all tension that had built up between them.

“ _You’re right, we are a couple of losers.  Even so, I really am sorry Hide – for every thing.  I know being a dancer makes you happy and…and as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”_

 _“Kaneki…”_ The smile Kaneki wore was so genuine, so sincere, it had Hide’s heart beating a mile a minute.  His hands moved to the sides of Kaneki’s face and he dove forward to capture his lips with his own; Kaneki’s mouth opened instantly to welcome him, and the two instantly relaxed and sighed into each others’ mouths as their tongues slid around each other.

“ _I promise you, Kaneki, you are the only person I care about.  I will never do anything to break your trust.”_

Kaneki nodded in agreement and embraced Hide once more as the two resumed kissing.  It had been so long since they were together like this, the resulting effect was inevitable for both of them.  Hide pulled away panting and gave a slight embarrassed chuckle.

“ _This is gonna sound weird, but…I’m so hard right now,”_ they both glanced down to Hide’s tight shorts and Kaneki’s eyes grew wide when he saw the clear outline of his erection.  

“ _Don’t worry, I’m…I’m hard, too…”_ he looked away in embarrassment as Hide glanced down and saw the tight fabric jutting out from Kaneki’s crotch.  As if a flip had switched within Hide, the general aura around them changed and he licked his lips slowly before speaking.

“ _Well, now that we’ve got all the emotional shit out of the way…we should deal with our physical tension, too, right?”_

_“Hide…do we even have time?”_

Hide was surprised at first – normally Kaneki would get all flustered and try to push Hide away, but now he wasn’t even acting against him.  _He must be really frustrated, too._

_“Not for that, but we do have some time.  Quick, take it out.”_

Without any hesitation, Kaneki did as he was told and pulled his erection out from his pants as Hide did the same.  He then shifted in Kaneki’s lap so he could move closer until they were able to press their cocks flush against each other.  The pair of them released a long exhale and as Hide’s hand reached for their shafts, Kaneki’s took responsibility of the heads.  His palm slowly stroked the heads, using the pooling pre-cum to smooth his motions while his fingertips worked the lip of the glans; meanwhile, Hide’s tight fist kept both of them together, working faster and faster to bring them to orgasm.

“ _Huuh, huuh, Kaneki, oh my god…it’s been so long…I’m not gonna last.”_

_“Me too!  Haah, haah, Hide, you feel so good!”_

“ _Ngh, Kaneki…Kaneki!”_

Right at the last second, Kaneki removed his hand and formed his index finger and thumb into an O-shape, wrapping it around them just under the glans and repeatedly rubbing up and down over it to push them both over the edge.  At the same time, he aimed the heads of their dicks at himself, and they both released every thing they had onto his shirt – all their tension, their guilt, their pent-up passion – every last bit drained out of them as they emptied themselves.

“ _Shit!  I’m sorry!”_

Kaneki released a shaky sigh and looked down at their mess with hazy eyes, “ _It’s fine, I can hide it under my jacket.  We really did make a mess, though.”_

 _“Heh, that’s what happens, I guess.  Fuck, I’m still hard, but I have to get back to work,”_ Hide pawed at Kaneki’s chest and face, wanting to go further.

“ _You’re still coming over, right?”_ Kaneki’s hands were just as impatient, roaming all over Hide’s back and sides, pulling at the hem of his booty shorts as if threatening to tear them off.

“ _Definitely.  We gotta go.”_

Kaneki threw on his windbreaker and zipped it up, checking to make sure there were no cum-stains peaking out on the hem of his shirt.  They tucked themselves back into their pants and after a quick kiss, Hide headed back to the floor and Kaneki left for home.

* * *

Kaneki rushed home after, showered, cleaned his room and changed his sheets.  Every thing was ready and when 2 a.m. finally hit, he waited impatiently on his bed for the pounding knock to fall on his door.

_Knock, knock, knock_

He almost jumped at the sound and dove for the door; in his excitement he forgot to undo the cheap chain lock and cursed as the door stopped abruptly when he tried to open it.  Hide chuckled at his frustration and waited for him to undo the lock and re-open the door fully.

“ _Someone’s excited.”_

Kaneki blushed fiercely upon being called out.

“ _Sorry, I’m just—I—”_

 _“It’s okay, I am, too,”_ Hide pushed his way in, grabbing onto the sides of Kaneki’s face and greeting him with a deep, heated kiss.  Together they closed the door behind them and began to walk towards the bed, but even that was a hurdle as they tripped over their clothing and shoes and all other things of the like.  Kaneki was forced back onto the bed and promptly began to remove his pants, as did Hide who then crawled on top of him and began to kiss his neck and shoulders, eventually making his way down his chest to lick and tease his nipples.

“ _Haah!  Hide!”_

_“Ahn…I’ve missed your voice so much…”_

Kaneki shivered under Hide’s warm tongue and buried his hands in his blonde hair.  His dick twitched against Hide’s skin whenever his stomach grazed against it, leaving a trail of pre-cum that stuck between the two. Hide’s tongue dragged lazy circles around his nipple until it was erect and perky, then moved on to the next.  Every touch felt _so good,_ it was almost unbearable and his orgasm began to build after months of anticipating the touch of another, of Hide.

Hide moved down Kaneki’s body, kissing his skin along the way and moving his hand down in between his legs so he could gently roll his testicles in his hand and move his palm up his shaft.

“ _H-Hide, wait, don’t!”_

_“Ngh, why?”_

_“I’ll cum too fast.  I’m already so close!”_

_“That’s fine, we have all night,”_ ignoring Kaneki’s cries of protest, Hide grasped the base of his cock and slipped his lips over the head, earning a high-pitched whine from Kaneki as he was engulfed in pleasure and heat.

“ _No!  Seriously, don’t!”_

Hide groaned around him then slid off, climbing back up his body and hovering over him, “ _What’s the big deal?”_

_“I just…I don’t want to finish yet.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because I, uh, want to do it when…you…d-do me.”_

“ _When I do you?  You–you want me to top?”_ Hide’s eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open as he stared down at Kaneki, who just barely nodded.  His face grew hot under Hide’s gaze, but he fought all urges to turn away.

“ _I want to know what it feels like for you, a-and if we’re, uh, together then it’s only fair, right?”_

He continued to squirm as Hide stared down at him in disbelief and for a moment, he almost looked like a nervous schoolgirl about to give up her virginity to her ‘one true love’.  Hide snorted at the thought, making Kaneki even more anxious.

“ _Don’t laugh!  I’ve never been the bottom before!”_

 _“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”_ Hide cleared his throat and attempted to rid the cheeky smile off his face, instead replacing it with one more serious, “ _Kaneki, I promise I’m going to make you feel amazing.”_

Kaneki was about to laugh, but Hide suddenly leaned in and began to gnaw at his earlobe, making wet sounds that rang in Kaneki’s ears and shot pleasure straight to his cock.  

“ _Hide!  Ngh, not my ears!”_

_“Haah, your ears are sensitive, right?  This must be driving you crazy, then.”_

Hide rolled onto his side and directed Kaneki to do the same until he was spooning him, then he continued his assault, using his tongue to lick the rim up and down, sighing and moaning heavily into his ear, all while his fingers roamed down his bare chest and stomach, coming to rest on his erection that was leaking pre-cum.  He smeared his fingers in it, forcing a low whimper from Kaneki who writhed and squirmed from Hide’s talented tongue, then brought his fingers to Kaneki’s rear where he  teased his hole by drawing slow circles around it.  He immediately gasped when his fingers touched him and his anxiety grew when he realized what was going to happen, but the soothing sound of Hide’s voice as he directed him and whispered comforting words kept his anxiety at bay and he mentally prepared himself for what was to come next.

“ _Ready?”_

Kaneki nodded then buried his face into the sheets, pulling away from Hide’s tongue and holding his breath.  Hide pushed his first finger inside ever-so-slowly, making sure to stop whenever Kaneki winced or hitched his breath.  Once inside, he gently moved it in and out, creating small circles to try and loosen up the tight muscle.  He turned his attention to Kaneki’s neck, placing small, tender kisses on it while he worked his fingers.  For the most part, they stayed silent except for the small gasps and whines that came from Kaneki; Hide didn’t want to rush him in any way, so he took his time and watched his lover’s expression for any sort of discomfort.

When he felt loose enough, Hide pushed in a second finger and Kaneki immediately tensed up and groaned, forcing Hide to stop.

“ _Are you okay?”_

_“Yeah, it just stings a bit.”_

_“Do you want me to stop?”_

_“No!  Don’t stop, please don’t stop.  I want to do this!”_

Nodding, Hide continued and set out to try and pleasure Kaneki as much as possible.  He would push in as deep as his fingers could go, probing around until he hit Kaneki’s sweet spot, to which he would gasp and moan, then he’d pull out and scissor his fingers to try and work him open.  As patient as he was, his body was aching to move forward and he would grind his erection along the cleft of Kaneki’s ass whenever the need to thrust into him grew too great.

“ _Kaneki, you’re so tight.  I can’t wait to be inside you,”_ he’d whisper, and Kaneki would beg to hear more.

“ _I wanna feel you around me, feel how hot you are inside_.  _I want to fuck you until you cum all over yourself, then I wanna fill you up until it’s dripping out,”_

_“Oh god, Hide, nggh, aah!  J-just do it, hurry!”_

“ _Are you sure?  You’re still pretty tight”_

_“Yes!  I’m sure, please!”_

Hide scissored his fingers one last time, then gingerly pulled them out and searched around for some sort of lubrication nearby until he found – lotion.  _It’ll work,_ he thought, and quickly squeezed some into his palm before working it over his erection and smearing some onto Kaneki’s hole.  The coldness of the lotion and the rustling of Hide behind him had Kaneki’s anxiety rearing up again when he realized what was about to happen, but he remained vigil in his decision.  

“ _Hold your leg up for a sec.”_

Clutching handfuls of the bedding, Kaneki lifted his leg and waited until he could feel Hide’s hot length pushing against him.  Instinctively, he held his breath until he began to push inside him, then he steadily released it in an attempt to relax his body.

“ _Shit, Kaneki, you’re so tight.  Aah…”_

Once the head had pushed past, Hide took hold of Kaneki’s leg so he could relax further, which did help to some degree, but not quite enough – the foreign feeling inside him mixed with the intense burn muddled Kaneki’s thoughts until all he could think about was the pain.  

“ _Hide!  It hurts, oh god!”_

_“I know, I know.  Keep breathing, I’m almost in.”_

_“I-I can’t!  It’s too much!”_

Hide stopped about halfway and gave Kaneki the chance to breathe, which he gladly took as he breathed out quick pants and embraced the moment to ease himself around Hide.  When he was ready again, he gave the okay for Hide to continue and he was finally able to push the rest of himself inside.  He groaned when he was fully encased within him and he took the time to savour the feeling – the intense heat surrounding him, the tightness that clamped down on him every so often whenever Kaneki twitched and shook around him, and the overall happiness he felt from finally being able to feel and touch his lover after months of holding back.

“ _I’m gonna move now, ‘kay?”_

_“Y-yeah, yeah okay.”_

Hide pulled out slowly all the way to the head, then gently pushed back in.  The pair groaned and sighed in unison, and Hide continued this pace until Kaneki was finally loose enough for him to push on.  He tried pulling out, then snapped his hips to push back in all at once, and the resulting moan that spilled from Kaneki’s lips told him it was more than satisfactory.  He experimented with varying thrusts, sometimes slowing down to grind against him and stimulate his prostate, or he’d rock his hips back and forth for a steady and fast rhythm that Kaneki could barely keep up with, but he wanted more.

“ _Haah!  Hide!  Hide!  Shit, more!  Faster!”_

_“Ngh, ahn, okay!”_

He pulled out and forced Kaneki onto his back and re-entered before his body could tighten up, but even then his body arched from the sudden entry and he cried out.  

“ _I’m sorry!”_

_“It’s okay!  Keep going!”_

They were both impatient, and rightly so – they each were dying for this type of intimacy, each of them restraining themselves in their own way, and now that they had the chance to renew their closeness they found they couldn’t get enough of it.

“ _Ah!  Harder!  Harder!  I’m gonna cum soon!”_

_“Me too, agh, fuck!”_

Hide threw all his strength into his hips and by now had worked up such a sweat the scent of it filled the dark room and it was dripping down his temples and covering his back, but he wasn’t deterred; he was determined to pleasure his boyfriend and it only motivated him more as he fucked him hard into the mattress until his body was jolting with each thrust and he was bracing himself against the wall.

“ _Oh god, oh god!  Hide…I’m gonna…ngh, aaahh!”_

When his climax finally hit, Kaneki felt as if he were floating – the pain was gone and all he felt was Hide’s hot girth pulsing inside him as he was filled.  Somewhere, he could hear him groaning out his name, but he was so caught up in his own ecstasy he wasn’t even sure if that happened.  _This feels so good, I don’t want it to end._

Strings of cum shot out from his cock and onto his stomach, leaving a gooey warm feeling as it dried.  As he came down, he could feel Hide’s dick slowly getting flaccid inside him and when he pulled out, he was more than aware of the gobs that dribbled out of him and onto the bed.  He visibly shuddered as the image popped into his mind, and Hide simply laughed.

“ _That part’s never fun,”_ he said before collapsing next to Kaneki and pulling him in for a deep kiss, then finally settling down and resting his head on Kaneki’s chest.  Kaneki reflexively put his arm around him and pulled him in close, trembling as he came down from his high and the cool air licked at his sweaty body.

“ _So, how was it?  Did you like being ‘the bottom’?”_

_“Actually, yeah, I didn’t mind it.  It hurt, a lot, but once the pain left it was…really good.”_

_“Oh?  Does that mean you wanna do it again?”_

Kaneki blushed and nodded, and Hide quickly reverted back to his cheeky attitude.

“ _You’re so different when you bottom.  When you top, you’re all quiet and pretend to act all stoic, but then when you bottom you’re like, ‘Ah, Hide!  More, more!  I want you to do me harder!  Ah ah!’”_

“ _I don’t sound like that at all!”_

_“Yes you do!  Here, I’ll play the recording for you.”_

Kaneki sat up in horror and gaped at Hide as he reached for his phone and quickly snatched it away.

“ _You recorded us?!”_ he tried working out the password on his phone to no avail, getting error code after error code regarding his failed attempts.  Meanwhile, Hide was laughing away at Kaneki’s response and took the phone away to enter in his password for him.

“ _I’m joking, of course I didn’t record us.”_

Kaneki huffed in annoyance and put his phone aside, relief washing over him when he realized there were no awaiting text messages, and Hide was quick to pick up on the change in atmosphere when he noticed.  

“ _Were you scared you might find something?”_ he asked, settling back to Kaneki’s side.  Kaneki denied it and rolled over, instantly regretting the decision as more cum dripped out from inside him.  Hide wasn’t taking his refusal though and snuggled up behind him, pulling the covers over them both to shield them from the cold room.

“ _Kaneki, be honest.”_

He sighed, then slightly nodded, “ _I guess I was a little scared, but I’m trying to work past it.”_

This time, Hide sighed and he gently kissed Hide’s back before speaking.

“ _I think I’ve been selfish.  Those texts you saw, that day, they were from guys I used to see, but I didn’t think messages from them was a big deal because I wasn’t interested in them.  So, when you brought it up at the cafe, I got all mad because I thought, ‘He’s trying to control me, he’s trying to say who I can and can’t talk to’, but I realize that’s not really what you were doing, right?”_

Kaneki nodded silently, allowing Hide to speak freely.

“ _Well, I want you to know that I get it – I get why you were so mad that day, and it won’t happen again.  I told them straight up I’m not interested, that I don’t want to receive those kinds of messages anymore, and that,”_ Hide paused, gathering his courage to say his next few words, “ _and that I’m with someone that I….love, and I don’t want to screw things up.”_

Kaneki stopped breathing.  _Did he just say he loved me?_ He turned slowly to meet Hide’s stare and he could swear he looked just as nervous as he felt.  He swallowed what little saliva he had in his mouth and asked,

“ _You…love me?”_

Hide maintained eye contact and nodded, watching intently for Kaneki’s reaction.

“ _Do you feel the same way?”_

Kaneki repeated Hide’s action and nodded slowly, then turned his whole body around so he could comfortably face him.

“ _I think I’ve loved you for a while.”_

_“Me, too.”_

They stared at each other nervously as they realized their relationship had risen to a whole new level – it was almost scary how serious this feeling was and if they were honest, neither of them knew if they were ready to handle it, but they were willing to try.  

“ _Hide, I love you.”_

_“And I love you, Kaneki.”_

* * *

Sleep came quickly enough after, considering both of them were mentally and physically exhausted, and the next morning brought on a new day and a new chapter in their lives.  They showered together, enjoying the closeness of the tight quarters with Hide pressed against the wall and Kaneki pounding into him from behind; afterwards, they went for a quick lunch before Kaneki left for his afternoon class and Hide went to work.  

He gave Hide a spare key to his dorm so he could come and go as he pleased, but Hide rejected the offer and instead suggested Kaneki simply move in with him.  Within two weeks, Kaneki was moved and settled into Hide’s – into their apartment, and life continued on as Hide excelled in his career and Kaneki stuck to his studies, ever grateful to his friends who convinced him to go to the dank strip club for his 21st birthday.


End file.
